I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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