Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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