just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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