so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
