am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
