I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
