can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
high people should be assigned attendants
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
