Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
