I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
