they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
