508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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