The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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