Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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