Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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