Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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