Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
