So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
