so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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