I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
