these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
