you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
