it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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