if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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