can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
