Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
