Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
