Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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