White coat. Heels.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
