Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
