I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
