girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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