Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
