it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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