Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
