Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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