Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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