I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
