sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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