weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
