At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
