somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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