drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
