It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
