When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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