I love black thongs
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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