So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
