you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
