with your own penis?
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
