so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
