I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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