She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
