I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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