Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You are the jesus of drinking
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
